Something I like;

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqLssKusGzM&feature=related

There Will [also] Be [David] at this movie.

I've been a Daniel Day Lewis fan since "In the Name of the Father". I'm also a huge fan of Western Gothic. So this looks like it's a combination of two very awesome things. I mean come on, it's called "There Will Be Blood." Literal titles that tell me what I should expect are always the best.

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Hypothetical Conversation;

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David - Hey Ash, want to go see a movie?

Ashlee - Sure. What do you want to watch?

David - Maybe "There Will Be Blood"

Ashlee - Oh whats that about?

Dave - Not quite sure, but let me tell you something, there will be blood.

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So simple, but oh so right. Today I watched Pirates of the Caribbean III but it should have been titled, "Another Pirates of the Caribbean Movie That Is Not as Good as the First One so Don't waste Your Time Watching It". Titles like that are appreciated.

Where the Wild Things Are, the movie.

Praise Popomo, "Where the Wild Things Are" is back!! (for all of you I-just-can't-keep-up-with-all-this-liberal-intellectual-lingo types, Popomo is post-postmodernism. And if you don't know what post-postmodernism is; let's just say it's the proposition that we now live in a world of mass-media simulation and that any attempt to find a stable reality behind this bewildering cacophony or noisious intermingling is impossible. It furthermore stresses that anything 'real' has disappeared and creativity can now only be found deep within the original thought of what is smothered and layered with replication for the purpose of touching nostalgia. Still don't get it? Consider it the bastard son of Postmodern thinking, only purifying itself of said reliance and alienating concepts such as the 'material non transcendental signified' which seeks to claim itself a referential relationship with concepts which in themselves do not refer out from themselves because referential functions are self-referring.) And you ask why I dropped Honors Literature at the university? The aforementioned jargon is why. If you're a mere pseudo-intellectual like me you have no idea what any of this tittle and jot means. So let's get back to "Where the Wilde Things Are".

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This has got to be one of the best books ever written... er at least drawn. I don't remember much if any of the dialogue or story but the pictures are etched in my mind forever. When I was a kid I freaking loved this book and I'll gander a bet you did too. Unless you were a godless pinko running from all things good or the progeny of crack addicts whose parents poisoned you with an addiction to TV Guide because it's the only printed text they had in the house (not a stab at you Cami I promise). This has to be one of your favorite books of all-time and if it isn't one of your favorite books of all-time, I probably am not friends with you because I don't make friends with commies and people with ill-shapen heads (well, except for Spencer). Too far? Ya, you're right. It is Christmas. Anyway, I am beyond stoked for this movie. I love Spike Jonze and sometimes Dave Eggers doesn't ruin things.

Chuck Norris & Steven Segal are kidnapping families for cash.

As it 'tis the season, I've found myself frequenting the Gateway Shopping Center a little more often than I would normally want to were it not for the opportunities to bump into my man here... and that's what I call him, "My Man!!! What's up my man!?

We usually meet up and talk about stocks and investment strategies while we dine on exotic cheezes and caviar. Sometimes we meet up with his buddies who I've grown quite fond of. I really appreciate their verity. For example Sammy here cannot tell a lie;

Hank on the other hand is a little left of honest but creativity's gotta count for something right?

And who knows, maybe he really is telling the truth. I can imagine Chuck Norris and Steven Segal are a bit hard-pressed for cash considering their recent coversion of box-office blitzes to a heralding line up on Tough-guy-Tuesday which includes Movies for Guys who like Movies! The thing is those ninjas picked the wrong family because A) this guy's got no money to buy his family back. And B) when he does get some money he's buying karate lessons instead so he can wreak some wicked judo chopping kung fu on those has beens.

Dreams can come true on the internet.

I don't know about the rest of you but in preparation of Christmas every year I spent my childhood Decembers watching Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer and subsequently came to identify most with Hermey...

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He's the elf who wanted to be a dentist instead of an elf. And you know what? I still identify with Hermey because I'm the Medical Program Director who wants to be an elf instead of the Medical Program Director.

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Well thanks to the internet I am one step closer:

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http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1284848957

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and if you're wondering about the look on my face, it's because I know this is just a teaser... that's right, a temporary gig. And after I'm done dancing here I've got to go back to the office. Ashlee and Max on the other hand are happy as can be because they get to go back to doing whatever they dang well please all day long because they don't have to report to executives and argue with doctors and lawyers all day!

So much for being nice.

You can see how well being nice turned out for me... I haven't blogged in two weeks! That means I'm giving up on it and going back to satire. Besides, scorn and ridicule are totally natural when exposing vice and folly and who am I to go up against nature? I've watched others try and they always end up getting worked over. Case in point:

examples of those who challenge nature;

1) Little Orphan Orange (you know?... the orange Otter Pop): most people challenging nature's steep slopes after a fresh layer of snow are bound to become sno-cones like this guy.

2) Timothy Treadwell: So it turns out you can't find a picture of Timothy Treadwell getting eaten by a grizzly on the internet but you can find this sweet DVD cover art of him right before he was eaten.

3) Some guy kayaking with what he probably thought was one of those big, friendly Japanese Coy just before it swallowed his kayak.

For anyone heading to the beach: you don't need to be afraid of the ocean just because of a few man-eating sharks. In fact, I found this great comparison of rare causes of death that puts it all into perspective:

Now let me get this strait; you're saying I'm more likely to get killed (and not just maimed) by "contact with hot tap water" than I am by "shark attack"? This puts a whole new spin on everything.