Why am I a Mormon?

This is why I'm a Mormon:

Matthew 5:39

Look, I know I'm Mormon just like (I assume) are the majority of the girls on the BYU Women's Soccer Team, but I'll be the first to admit that I'm not that really really good kind of Mormon. Don't get me wrong, I mean I am a good Mormon just not a "BYU Good" Mormon. Let me explain...

Sometimes I don't shave and other times I drink Coke and once in a blue moon I might even watch a movie that's rated PG-13 (aside from Twilight I mean) because I 'shall not live by Pixar alone'.

But it's not the aforementioned demerits that make me say I'm not the really really good kind of Mormon. Rather it's the fact that I would not not notty NOT be turning my other cheek on these New Mexico UFC Cage Fighters:

If anyone ever pulled my ponytail I'd be retaliating with some serious Kung Fu fighting. - probably one of the reasons I wasn't accepted to BYU or the BYU Women's Soccer Team either.

I got an attitude of grattitude!

So I took Max trick or treating and that means Halloween is over and that means I'm trying with all my might to be disciplined enough not to eat all of his candy while he sleeps and that also means it's November which means Thanksgiving is coming up and that means its time to start being more grateful but it doesn't mean that I have to stop using run-on sentences... but lets get back to being grateful.

I'll start by expressing my gratitude that my biking buddies didn't have a video camera rolling when I turfed it on our last mountain bike ride. Now, I realize I broke 3 ribs, bruised my torso, gave myself a wicked charlie-horse, and almost almost almost cried in front of my bros, but honestly none of those things even compares to having the wind knocked out of you, particularly if it's caught on film. I say so not because of the level of pain associated with being unable to breathe (minimal really), but more so because you feel like an idiot rolling around on the floor gasping for air while your friends stare in wonder. Let me illustrate:

I'm also grateful that my friend decided to share this video with me after the accident because there's nothing better for broken ribs than trying not to laugh over and over and over again while he keeps pressing play. "Preciate it" Jeff. I'm also grateful for friends who are just as concerned and helpful in that humiliating moment as the studio reporters were for that poor lady stomping on the grapes. "Oh... Oh no... Youch... Well... Okay. Should we just keep riding?"

"Dad, dissis disgusting"

Attaway fittytwo!