AND THE WINNER IS...

After much deliberation, demo-ing and consultation, the results are in... but first the backstory:

I can't have a mountain bike museum in my garage anymore. Shoot, I can't even have 5 mountain bikes in the garage anymore... you know, one for the downs, one for the ups, another for the bumps and another for the sheer beauty of it. Don't forget the hard-tail or the trial rider. Or the tandem. Oh the tandem! And so on and so on. So, I'm down to one mountain bike after selling off the collection (well except for the Cannondale, which is really like family so it will stay hanging in the garage forever I don't care what you say!) so it had to be the perfect mountain bike. And this is it;

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the Specialized Epic Marathon

Am I the only one who hears angels singing every time I look at this bike?

I will now proceed to go out and destroy the weak excuses for hills that you people call "mountains"!

India

You know. The place you call for technical support...

Getting to Know Ashlee

I figure that last post will be deleted whether I like it or not so here goes another crack at Getting to Know Ashlee.
.

You can totally tell she loves loves loves me by that look on her face...

And I'm telling you, when a girl looks at you like that you gotta ask.

"umm, I guess I could marry you" she says.

She hails from Big Fork, MONTANA!

and subsequently wants to have a driveway that looks like this;

Oh yeah, and she loves Trappers Loop.

She's so cool, I like hanging out with her wherever.

And I like that she follows me into rainforests and across rivers even in her nice white shoes.

She's totally just like my dad. Seriously. They are like twins. They don't know this but they are. Well, I guess my dad sits with his legs crossed whereas Ashlee sits like a girl - minor difference really. Well, I guess there is ONE other difference... Ashlee is super sexy even with short hair. Now I know I haven't seen you with long hair dad, but I don't think "sexy" would be the word. Okay, TWO differences; I'm pretty sure I would not have been drawn to you in that pink outfit. Not even in the Bahamas. She really likes kayaking and every time we go she sees a sea lion. I don't get it. Flying airplanes makes her giggle to no end... I gotta post the video. She'll never pass up wake-boarding.
And she climbs like Spiderman. In jeans even! WTH!?
I love watching her ride a bike... my two favorite things; bikes and Ashlee.
Between you and me, the only reason I'm writing this email and being all nice is because she is a crack-shot with a 12-gauge.
She's one amazing cook!

chocolate:

salmon:

stuffed bell peppers

(notice the candles... she's totally tried to seduce me that night)

Amond Roasted Chicken, sweetened patotoes and spinach over rice:

Whenever she cooks, she always has her legs crossed or sometimes she bends one knee and rests her foot on the other knee and stands like a bird. She can do this for hours.

She caters weddings:

Even makes the wedding cakes!

And if you've frequented the Great Harvest in Logan, you'd see one of her posters hanging;

I pretty much married the coolest girl in the whole world.

Getting to know Ashlee

As many of you already know, I was able to find someone who liked being around me enough to waste away the rest of her life by actually marrying me. I'm sure you'd all like to know a little bit more about her so I've decided to start a regular feature called, "Getting to know Ashlee".

Dave: Okay, first question. Just fill in the blank. Robert Redford is blank.

Ashlee: That wasn't a very good blank. I don't really know anything about Robert Redford.

Dave: What's the worst thing you've ever done? And this is an interview so you can't lie.

Ashlee: Broke your bike when I drove the Volvo into the parking garage with it on top.

Dave: Really. Breaking my bike was the worst thing you've ever done?

Ashlee: I used to use the forks in the breakroom at work all the time even though I didn't sign up for the 'employe club'. But I stopped doing that.

Dave: Wow. You are like a disciple or something but without a beard. Next question: Kermit or Earnie?

Ashlee: Kermit. Earnie looks too much like a person.

Dave: You don't want to date someone who looks like a person? You'd rather date a frog?

Ashlee: I didn't know the question referred to who I'd rather date. I just figured you meant which do I like better. Like Coke or Pepsi or sunsets or sunrises, etc.

Dave: Okay, would you rather date Coke or Pepsi?

Ashlee:

Dave: You haven't answered my question.

Ashlee: What question? The Coke question? Really? I wouldn't date Coke or Pepsi.

Dave: What if it was a giant Coke that made you feel like you could be yourself around it and it really liked watching "The Bachelor"?

Ashlee: This interview is lame.

Dave: Fresca?

Ashlee: I would only date a person.

Dave: Howabout Kermit or Earnie?

Ashlee: Kermit.

Dave: But he's a frog. You know that right?

Ashlee: Green is my favorite color and Kermit is more loved by his fans than Earnie. Nobody loves Earnie.

Dave: Bert does. And so could you.

Ashlee: I can hardly remember what Earnie looks like.

Dave: That's really vain. Besides, Kermit is gay.

Ashlee: Kermit is not gay.

Dave: He sings about rainbows.

Ashlee: Whatever. He's just sensitive and he loves Miss Piggy so he's cool with a girl with an apetite.

Dave: So you'd rather date a mopey frog who likes fat chicks instead of a young urban guy who looks like a person.

Ashlee: Their both muppets so I don't think it matters if Kermit is a frog.

Dave: Moving on. On a scale of 1 to 10, how hot is your husband?

Ashlee: about a 5 - pretty average.

Dave: Nice...

Ashlee: Is that the interview?